Ideas that won’t impress anyone

GRIN # 19

So, I hate dinner. Did we establish that yesterday? I mean, I really really hate it. I hate thinking about it, shopping for it, cooking it and cleaning up after it. I hate it more than doing laundry. More than unloading the dishwasher. More, even, than an annual pelvic exam. The dinner refrain is a constant whine: What’s for dinner, what’s for dinner, what’s for dinner? Sometimes I just wanna smack somebody. “Drink some water! Have an apple!”

Surely, there are other folks out there who, like me, can’t stand the daily dinner drudge. Dinner is like a stalker we’re trying constantly to keep at bay, but it’s nothing if not persistent. Over time, I’ve developed a few tips to get by, if you want to call it that.

First, most grocery stores sell roasted chickens for $4.99 each on Sundays. I buy two. The first night we have chicken with a few sides, the second night is pasta with chicken; and the third night is some kind of Mexican box dinner with, yes, chicken.  I always get the hairy eyeball from Jerry on that third night, along with “Is this the same chicken from Sunday?” Yeah, well. Quit whining.

Second, when you grill, grill in abundance. Whether it’s burgers, chicken or pork, you’ve answered the question “What’s for dinner?” for at least three days—and lunch too, for that matter. Three is kind of a theme with me. Cooking every third day seems about right. And, for the record, can I just say right now that there is nothing wrong with eating the same thing a few days in a row. It builds character.

Lastly, there are two ingredients the anti-foodie must have on hand: canned tomatoes and Italian dressing. These are the kitchen equivalents to Vick’s Vaporub. Let’s say you make too many spaghetti noodles and have only one jar of sauce; add a can of tomatoes to it and there’s dinner for two nights. And if you’ve got a pasta sauce that’s a little sticky or dried out because it’s boiled over (this happens to me a lot), pour in a few splashes of dressing.

Oh, yeah. There’s one other thing you’ll need: wine. Only that’s for you; don’t waste it on the food.

Tomorrow: Check back to meet a special member of my family:)

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4 Responses to “Ideas that won’t impress anyone”

  1. Did not know that about the dressing idea thanks.. 🙂 and I love those roasted chickens too!!

  2. Trust me, you are not alone!!! I hate cooking too, but I think laundry and unloading the dishwasher trump cooking for me. At least with cokking you get the variety aspect. With the others, it’s the same thing day after day, but that’s just me! Laundry for 5 is enough to make me drink every night!! Oh wait, I want to do that anyway!!!

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