No thanks to oily spotting

GRIN # 26

I’ve been watching a lot of the Olympics lately and the commercials that go along with it. I’ve got a bone to pick with some of these people and products.

Special K: Regarding this whole losing six pounds in two weeks thing, could you at least find an actress who doesn’t look like she’d be anorexic if she lost six pounds? If I looked like these women, screw the Special K, I’m having a Toaster Strudel.

Alli: This one got to me. The lady standing on the scale in her nightgown looks so happy to have lost weight. Yeah. That’s what I want. So I actually googled the product. Do you know what the side effects are?

“Gas with oily spotting.” Oily spotting? Is that shorthand for “You’re going to shit yourself just a bit if you fart?” I’ll pass. Next on the list: “Uncontrollable bowel movements.” For a brief moment, I pictured myself running down the hall with my hand clamped against my ass in an effort to hold everything in. Ad, good. Product, not so much.

Viagra: The little blue pill. The following disclaimer that they ramble off during the commercial is alarming: “If you have an erection that lasts more than four hours, seek medical attention.” Medical attention for whom? The man or the woman? And, what, a three-hour erection is nothing to worry about? I can just imagine the poor man on the phone: “Sir, this is perfectly normal. Call back in thirty minutes if you still have your woody and then we’ll talk.”

C’mon. These companies have to know we’re going to make fun of them.

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10 Responses to “No thanks to oily spotting”

  1. Side effects…. more people should definitely read them before they start popping pills! Oily spotting is definitely the weirdest I’ve heard!

  2. There’s FAR worse things about Alli than the spotting! I’ve heard of actually filling the toilet with oily stuff after every meal! Gross! Why can’t someone just invent a weight loss pill that won’t do anything funky?? Surely there’s someone smart enough in the world to do that!

    • You’re right. I read on there too that you’ll see something in the toilet that looks like “the oil from the top of a pizza” (it used those exact words) but that was just too gross to post! Then they go on to tell you it’s perfectly harmless and even natural–and that it “will remind you to stick to your diet.” Yeah, stick to your diet or trash those pills:)

  3. Just scratched Special K off grocery list. Thanks alot Chrissy.

  4. Tori Scuderi Says:

    Chirssy….I am laughing out loud right this very minute. My whole family wants to know what I’m reading. Thanks for the day brightener. I’ll tell you what, the gross foods mentioned in your GRIN from yesterday will definitely leave oily spotting!

  5. There’s a restless leg syndrome medication that says one of the side effects is compulsive gambling. That one makes me laugh every time! Really? Compulsive gambling?

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