And the faker is…

GRIN # 39

Dun, dun, dun, dunhh…..The liar-liar-pants-on-fire award goes to GOAT TRAUMA AWARENESS MONTH!

Oh, but it looks real. It even has a website: The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation. It’s pretty good, too, but it’s definitely a spoof of all the legitimate bizarre “holidays.”

Check out: http://www.goat-trauma.org/news/awareness.shtml or google “Goat Trauma Awareness Month.”

The Imposter Giveaways:

Statistics: “If a child is traumatized by age five, he/she is five times more likely to become some form of social deviant.” What?

Testimonials: “I was worried about all those goats that kept congregating outside my house at the new moon. Thanks to the CGTF, I’ve learned how to construct an effective Goat Repellent System for home defense.”– Fred R., Salinas, CA

Still not convinced? Check out “Goat Trauma in Action” page. One goat is stealing a Teletubbie and the others are “terrorizing” cut-outs of kids in ridiculously doctored photos.

And the others? They’re all true. How does this happen, you ask?

Apparently, elected officials can declare a food holiday when a trade association or commodity group asks. They don’t mean much, but PR folks use the days, more than 175 each year, to pitch stories to the media.

Frankly, pudding seems over-represented to me. Not only do you have National Pudding-Snack Month in February, you’ve got National Butterscotch Pudding Day on September 19, Plum Pudding on February 12, Tapioca on July 15 and Indian Pudding on November 13. Then again, pudding really is an acquired taste if you think about it.

Manuary is a tongue-in-cheek observance, but guys actually celebrate it, and it’s been written up in the national media a time or two so I figured that counts.

National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month is real too. No word on whether you really have to repeat dorky affirmations in front of a mirror, but, really, what else would you do?

In a nutshell (and National Nut Day is Oct. 22 if you’re taking notes) all this silly hoopla was invented by people who want to sell more food.

And if that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, June 16th is National Vinegar Day. I’ve heard that will cure anything.



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