70s dating tips: Secure your flesh to the bone

GRIN # 40

I bought old books when browsing the flea market a few weeks ago. I paid $2 for “Sex and the New Single Girl” written by Helen Gurley Brown in 1970.

In case you didn’t know, Helen was the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine for 32 years. Apparently, she was considered THE AUTHORITY on dating back in the day.

Here, a few gems:

  • Page 53: If you want to meet men, get involved in sports. “To be actively sporty, sometimes all you need to do is lie down. One girl alone on a beach towel is a man attractor” (or an unplanned pregnancy).
  • Page 68: Men are shy. “The thing to do is give him something to start a conversation about.” Helen recommends wearing a lapel pin (she has three!) with catchy slogans: “I have gray hair, brown eyes and black heart” or “Never underestimate the power of a woman.” Oh, Helen. What does the first one even mean? And why would you advertise your gray hair? Highlights, Helen.
  • Page 81. NOT SEXY: bitten fingernails, food in your teeth, borrowing money (I’m with you so far)  and “flesh not secured firmly to the bone.” What the hell does that mean?
  • ANYBODY? I’ve read it eight times, and I still can’t figure it out. Could it mean…loose breasts or something? It’s actually creeping me out.

Did some portion of a horror script accidentally get dropped in Helen’s book–like Helter Skelter? That was published in the seventies. Seems to me if your flesh is not secured firmly to your bone, finding a man is the least of your worries. A doctor, maybe,  is what you’re looking for–gender unimportant.

Make a fourth lapel pin, Helen: “I’m a flesh and bone kind of girl.”


10 Responses to “70s dating tips: Secure your flesh to the bone”

  1. Could she possibly mean – have a little padding? You know, like not stick skinny? Have some “fat” between the bone and skin?

  2. Only thing I can think of that makes sense and isn’t entirely creepy is jiggly arms?

  3. You silly girl! She’s talking about that nasty fat between your flesh and bones!! In other words, we need to anorexic!

    • Well, at least we’re narrowing it down! I’ve got a couple votes for putting meat on your bones (which I like because that’s fun to do) and a few for the opposite, a lot harder to do:) Helen, herself, was pretty bony if you look at the picture. If you see her today, she looks like a corpse. A very fashionable skeleton.

  4. I’m guessing our girl (that would tear her flesh from the frame), Helen, is referring to being flabby. That guess that wasn’t any more attractive in the 70’s than it is now. However, if being sporty meant hanging out on the beach towel, no wonder they all had to be Twiggy thin to keep from getting jiggly.

  5. Tori Scuderi Says:

    Hey Chrissy….I think she was referring to that flab that wobbles back and forth when Grandma holds up her arm. The older I get the more my upper arms look like Grandma Hazlett arms….jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Not much you can do for it other than lie on the beach, all by yourself because ‘gasp’ your teenagers won’t be caught anywhere in your vicinity and hubbie’s up by the cabana watching water aerobics. Hey, but you’re alone on the beach then & that’s a sport that will attract a male, right?

  6. Looking for some meat on that body?

  7. Tori Scuderi Says:

    Careful Jerry.

  8. Where did you get that picture of me you know the one sitting on the desk those were the days

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