70s dating tips: Secure your flesh to the bone

GRIN # 40

I bought old books when browsing the flea market a few weeks ago. I paid $2 for “Sex and the New Single Girl” written by Helen Gurley Brown in 1970.

In case you didn’t know, Helen was the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine for 32 years. Apparently, she was considered THE AUTHORITY on dating back in the day.

Here, a few gems:

• Page 53: If you want to meet men, get involved in sports. “To be actively sporty, sometimes all you need to do is lie down. One girl alone on a beach towel is a man attractor” (or an unplanned pregnancy).
  
• Page 68: Men are shy. “The thing to do is give him something to start a conversation about.” Helen recommends wearing a lapel pin (she has three!) with catchy slogans: “I have gray hair, brown eyes and black heart” or “Never underestimate the power of a woman.” Oh, Helen. What does the first one even mean? And why would you advertise your gray hair? Highlights, Helen.
• Page 81. NOT SEXY: bitten fingernails, food in your teeth, borrowing money (I’m with you so far)  and “flesh not secured firmly to the bone.” What the hell does that mean?
• ANYBODY? I’ve read it eight times, and I still can’t figure it out. Could it mean…loose breasts or something? It’s actually creeping me out.

Did some portion of a horror script accidentally get dropped in Helen’s book–like Helter Skelter? That was published in the seventies. Seems to me if your flesh is not secured firmly to your bone, finding a man is the least of your worries. A doctor, maybe,  is what you’re looking for–gender unimportant.

Make a fourth lapel pin, Helen: “I’m a flesh and bone kind of girl.”