You look like a…

GRIN # 44

So I have a ritual. Once a week I like to go to Chick-fil-A BY MYSELF (that part’s important) and get a sandwich and a salad (they cancel each other out) and a big Diet Dr. Pepper. Then I read the paper and eat. I know. It’s a sad ritual, but I like it.

The other day I’m there, buried in my paper, and I hear an employee say, “Are you a minister? Because you look just like a minister.” I glance up. She’s talking to a guy in his mid-thirties eating lunch with two little girls. He looks horrified. Not that looking like a minister is a bad thing at all, but I doubt many men wake up in the morning hoping for that comparison.

“Uh, no,” he says.

I go back to reading my paper.

A few minutes later, she’s back. “Sir?”

I peek over again.

Are those YOUR daughters?”

This time, half the restaurant waits for his response. They damn well better be his daughters or he better start running.

“Yes.”

“Well they are just beautiful, little angels!”

By now my Diet Dr. Pepper is dry, but I slunk down in my booth. Because she’s the refill lady. And I’m scared to attract attention to myself. I imagine what she might say.

“Do you work the night shift? No? That’s funny because you look like you haven’t slept all night. Have you even showered yet? Why are you eating by yourself?

Nosy, annoying lady. Harassing that poor man, who, by now, has had quite enough. He’s leaving with the two kids everyone now knows are his.

I am angry at the refill lady for the possibility that she might one day foul up my nice, peaceful ritual.

What to do with people like this? Start using pretend sign language? Head for the bathroom? It seems like there’s a skinny line these days between getting no service and being hounded with questions: “How is everything? Did you like that? Do you need a refill? Are you a minister?”

Oh, well. I guess too much customer service is better than nothing. Still, I got the hell out of there. I have Diet Dr. Pepper at home.

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5 Responses to “You look like a…”

  1. Step 1: Blank, somewhat sheepish look
    Step 2: Shrug shoulders
    Step 3: Return gaze to newspaper

  2. Chrissy, I am REALLY good at ignoring people like this! Life is just too short for someone to ANNOY me, especially a stranger!

  3. The picture of Uncle Sam says it all

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