Breaking up is hard to do
This morning I tried to divorce my laundry and it pretty much gave me the finger–and then bled all over my favorite white shirt.
If I can’t make the laundry move out, I can at least put it on a diet. From now on, the following stuff is getting unceremoniously tossed, falling out of the laundry category altogether:
1. Washcloths with pink eye germs, pee stains or anything else remotely gross.
2. Underwear with skid marks.
3. Stray socks. I’m done trying to pair you guys up.
4. Undershirts that are so thin I can see through (ahem, Jerry). I don’t care how comfortable they are.
And to all the “hand wash” stuff: your days are numbered. You bleed in the sink and drip, drip, drip for days. If I didn’t like you guys so much, I never would have bought you in the first place. I’ll do what I had the sense to do a long time ago to “iron by hand” and “dry clean only.”
Two can play at this game.