Hanging pictures? Take a Xanax
Ya’ll gave me wonderful GRINS yesterday sharing what makes you happy. Thank you!!
I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that my son is my greatest joy. Watching him have fun makes me so happy.
Because….TODAY….company is coming.
And we all know there’s nothing like company coming to make you get your house in order.
I have just a few hours to make it look like no one lives here.
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
I don’t HAVE to. It’s my dad. He doesn’t care a lick. But it’s a compulsive, neurotic thing that I do.
Coincidentally (or perhaps not) I’ve done a little redecorating which was finished just last night as Jerry hung the last picture.
Jerry is a good man, but there is something about hanging pictures that makes him incredibly angry.
He HATES putting holes in the wall. It’s like we’re renters.
And we’ve lived in this house for 11 years.
He’s almost verbally abusive.
I would do it myself, but “I don’t do it right.” He gets the level and the tape measure and blah, blah, blah while I would just eyeball it. Because along with “When it’s too hard, quit,” my other motto, as you may remember, is: “Sometimes good enough is good enough.”
If I don’t stand right by him while he’s hanging the picture, showing him where it’s goes, the abuse is worse.
Here’s how it went last night:
(It’s the same look he gets when he sees the inside of my car).
Him: Give me a nail.
Him: (eye rolling) I said A nail, not NAILS!
Me: Can’t you just do this without being an ass? Just once?
Me: There’s something wrong with you.
Him: (hammering) How much did you pay for this picture? It looks like Tyler did it.
Me: I love this picture.
(Measuring, then hammering).
Him: There! (disgusted).
Me (stepping back): Wait. Is it level?
Him: Is it LEVEL? It doesn’t get any more level than that! That’s what the level is for! That’s why you use a level!
At that point I just laugh. Then he goes to bed, angry.
This morning he discovered he hung the picture over a light switch.
I’m still laughing.
This entry was posted on April 14, 2010 at 2:16 pm and is filed under Mars and Venus with tags company, hanging pictures, housecleaning, men, redecorating, women. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.