Mr. Postman, won’t you please carry these away?

GRIN #95

All kids hate something.

I used to hate seaweed and getting the tangles brushed out of my hair.

My kid hates having his fingernails clipped.

No matter how I explain that nails are like hair and there is no pain involved when you cut either, he just doesn’t get it. There is always a lot of crying, cajoling, and hand-wringing when it’s time to do the deed.

“You look like a girl,” I tell him. This usually gets the job done.

He’s a hoarder of fingernail clippers. If he is in possession of the torturous instruments, I won’t be able to use them. But this line of thinking is not fully developed, obviously.

Or is it?

Recently, I was looking for the fingernail clippers to trim my own nails (because the only thing grosser than long fingernails on a woman is long fingernails on a man–ewwww). I found Tyler’s stash and grabbed a pair. He eyed me suspiciously.

That night, I took a bill out to the mailbox, but the flag was already up. I opened the box and inside was a bumpy envelope. It had one of my return address stickers on it, placed correctly in the upper left-hand corner, a stamp in the upper right.

Inside were, of course, the fingernail clippers.

Oy. A Unabomber in training. “Tyler, you can’t mail away the fingernail clippers. There’s not even an address on here. What were you trying to do?”

“I was giving them to the mailman,” said Tyler, “so he would take them away.”  I turned away to hide my smile. If I didn’t, God only knew what might end up in the mailbox next.

Oh, if only it were true. What would you give the postman?

I’d start with the scale.


6 Responses to “Mr. Postman, won’t you please carry these away?”

  1. Cute! I’d give away my bills if I could….

  2. Tyler cracks me up. I love the way his little mind works!

  3. Sometimes I have to use those clippers on my kitty’s nails (his actual clippers broke….go figure that!); he may be a cat, but I think he knows when I pick him up and have them dangling from my other hand that the clipping is about to start; and yes, there is LOTS of cat crying, cajoling and paw wringing until it’s all over. Then when he has no nails to claw the furniture with, he looks at me like I’m some kinda villian!

  4. Hi Chrissy,

    I tell my son if he doesn’t let me cut his girl nails we have to polish them! That one always works!

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