GRIN # 113
Like toothpaste tubes and toilet seats, the T.V. leaves most couples squabbling–even though most of us have three or four.
Jerry either watches stuff in the high channels–Pimp my Ride, Dirty Jobs, Man vs. Food–or Criminal Minds, which, frankly, is a scary show. There is no shortage of women with blood-matted hair in dog collars or in cages, a psychopath at the reins.
I like mindless stuff in the lower channels, best served with canned laughter: Modern Family, The Middle.
I even take in my share of reality television. Consider The Biggest Loser. Now that’s a show that’ll make you feel better, whether Bob is whupping up on someone in the gym (and you’re so glad it’s not you) or at the weigh-in when you can say, “Damn, I had a hard day but at least I don’t have to weigh myself on national television.” That’s a heck of a consolation prize if you think about it.
I used to watch Wife Swap, another show that made me feel better because those families are always seriously whacked. Remember the man who launched the silver hot air balloon and claimed his kid was inside? He was on Wife Swap.
Jerry never understood that show.
“I can’t believe the FCC lets that stuff go on.”
“What stuff?” I asked, munching popcorn.
“That whole thing. Talk about setting a bad example.”
“Wait a minute. Do you think they’re….like…really swapping?”
“Yes! They should call it Wife Schnock. I can’t believe they openly leave their families and go have sex with other people–ON TV.”
“Jerry! The wife just MOVES in, she doesn’t sleep with the husband. God!”
“Oh. Then what’s the point?”
And that’s when I quit watching. After that, it just seemed boring.