Why are you so slow?

GRIN : 125

Ah, I had a date with my bed this morning.

And for any pervs out there, it just means I slept in.

Time for a fun fact to know and share from Schott’s Food & Drink Miscellany:

I don’t know how this ties in with food and drink, but guess what Bradyphagia means, according to Schott’s?

“Abnormal slowness.”

I’m assuming that’s of the digestive system, but I find it most prevalent in cashiers across the nation. With some, if they scanned crap any slower, it would be in slow-mo.

When you encounter Bradygphagia, don’t sigh! Sighing induces a tic that makes the cashier actually leave the register in the guise of investigating something (but, really, they’re just sticking it to you for sighing). Leaving the register results in hyper-Bradyphagia. Translation: You are never going to get the hell out of WalMart, KMart, Big Lots or wherever you’re unfortunate enough to be. Your cashier may never come back.

Following the onset of hyper-Bradyphagia, the people behind you in line will start sighing at YOU, backing their cart up and looking for a new line, because, frankly, you’ve ruined this one with your initial sigh, you dumbass.

Bradyphagia is typically most prevalent at the start of any holiday weekend–like this one.

Good luck.

Do your best to GRIN and bear it.


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