Swimsuit shopping

GRIN # 155

I try not to speak for other women, but I think I can honestly say–for all of us–that shopping for a bathing suit is just a terrible experience. Nothing fits right, it’s all incredibly expensive and there’s no way to avoid the come-to-Jesus moment when you pop open the dressing room door to go look in the three-way mirror.

Yes, that’s you. And you’re supposed to wear this in public and frolic about in the water.

I’ve had my suits for two years now, so I was able to skip this depressing experience last year. I haven’t been able to find anything this year so a neighbor of mine told me to check out Victoria’s Secret online for a great selection, free shipping etc. That way, I could hand-wring and cry in the comfort of my own home, with the added bonus of being able to drink while  trying on to soften reality’s ugly blow.

So, here’s what I ordered:

Since I’m feeding the tiger, I might as well dress the part. I promise the girl in this “Slasher Suit” is all of 11 years old. WHERE is her mother??

I like a black swimsuit but I had to pass on this one. After I made peace with the fact that I looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy in a backwards and rather confusing thong, I poured some wine and took a Xanax.

This suit is on clearance for $39.99. I am all about a sale! Maybe it was the Xanax, but dang if this suit wasn’t comfortable and cool. I hate a hot swim suit. All I have to do is grow my hair a tad longer and I’m all set.

Whaddya think?


6 Responses to “Swimsuit shopping”

  1. Michelle Anysz Says:

    If i were to put on #3 it would surely look like a ship anchor! More chips ahoy please 🙂

  2. Chrissy

    You are killing me. That is soooo fricking funny. If I bring the metal detector to the beach …. Will you wear the last suit and search for treasure.

  3. I am rolling on the floor laughing over the GRIN of the day & the comments. Picturing any of us in any of those suits! That image will have me laughing for weeks. Now here is the sad part…remember when I bought one like #2 when I was 14? Mom made me return it and bought me a string bikini instead, because the one I bought was “too mature” for me! Ah, the irony of youth…when your body will fit nicely in a suit like that your too young to wear it!

    • That is so true!! And I remember that suit! My mom was that way with high heels and now my 80-year old back can’t take them anyway!

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