Spongebob Tooth-gate

GRIN # 180

A few months ago I was dreading Tyler losing his front teeth. He’s the only kid I”m gonna have and, frankly, the idea of those tiny teeth being replaced by two big horse teeth was downright depressing.

Uh, I’d like to exercise the taker-backers clause, please. Because now I can’t wait for those buggers to fall out. His two cute little milk teeth have somehow bonded together to form one big tooth wall. He presses them down on his lower lip so that they are now nearly parallel to said lip. It’s a tooth-gate that he swings back and forth with his tongue. If you bumped into him, you might actually get stabbed by the tooth-gate. It’s disgusting.

The permanent teeth are under there but show no signs of evicting the tooth-gate.

Complete strangers do a double-take when they see him. “Whoa! What’s going on with those teeth? Wow.”

Tyler thinks his celebrity status is awesome and will hear nothing of pulling the tooth-gate off its hinges. He walks around swinging it to and fro, looking like Spongebob Squarepants. Or the spawn of parents who just might be related.

I asked my Brother the Dentist about it. “Ah, they’ll come out eventually,” he said.

I might have to dispatch the Tooth Fairy to do exactly what Tyler’s always feared she would do: Night-time Extractions.

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