Life’s little disclaimers


I think I need a parenting disclaimer–one to give to other parents. Seriously. I try really hard, but things always go awry when other kids come to our house to play. I think it’s because I don’t have enough parenting experience. With an only child, I’m not going anywhere fast in the learning department. It’s a system of: try, mess up, learn, move on to the next stage.

Here’s a draft of my disclaimer:

I’m the mom who may deliver your kid home with a bright red sunburn even though I applied sunscreen twice! Or he may show up with nine band-aids on his shins as a result of the briar patch he encountered on what I hoped would be an ultra-fun nature hike. But turned out to be a torture chamber of mosquitoes and possible tick exposures. The lost shoe? Yeah. I’m really sorry about that. The empty creek bed sucked it off your kid’s foot. He never said anything, and I just noticed. And, I hate to tell you, but it’s been my experience that I may call a few days after the playdate to say, “Tyler’s sick; I hope your child didn’t catch it.” But, please, still come over. We love friends. And I’ll keep trying.

Come to think of it, I could do disclaimers for my other areas of my life–extending to my cooking and also the likelihood that the grass will either be too long or mostly dead when you arrive.  And there will almost always be fingerprints on the mirror, trash that needs to emptied, dishes in the sink and crap on the stairsteps that no one but me ever bothers to carry upstairs.

Be forewarned.

5 Responses to “Life’s little disclaimers”

  1. Too funny Chrissy….but cut yourself some slack; you’re out there playing with T. and that’s what he’ll ALWAYS remember. Good job, Mom!

  2. Mission Accomplished Chrissy- You got a hearty laugh out of me & DJ this morning!

  3. I just have to say, for those who may never enter your home, that you rarely, have dishes in the sink. The trash can is always full, but NEVER overflowing. And, I would trust you with my kids on a play date because despite your disclaimer, you are a good mom & caretaker of kids. You have grown a lot over the years, I remember when your idea of babysitting was unfolding the newspaper. : )

    • You are very sweet, girl, but the reason there are never dishes in the sink when you come over is that I know you’re coming over and I clean up!!! Right now, there are dishes in my sink. From last night. But, alas, I am getting ready to go take care of that. And you’re right, I have come a long way since the newspaper days (when I would unfold a square a make a game of Jessie standing on it and being quiet). Thank God!

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