What’s that smell?

GRIN # 202

Is your mouth ever on automatic pilot?

By and large, I think I’m a pretty mannerly person and, you know, parental. I try to encourage and reprimand, instilling morals and ethics on a daily basis like all good parents do. But sometimes…..my auto-pilot mouth spontaneously spits out tasteless, adolescent phrases.

As in:

Tyler: “What’s that smell?”

Me: “Maybe it’s your upper lip.”

Did I say that out loud?

Tyler: “What do you mean ‘my upper lip?'”

Me: “Never mind, honey, I was just joking.”

And then of course, there’s the unfortunate smartass answer to “Where is_______?”

For years, Jerry used to reply that if  the item I was inquiring about was located up a certain anatomical orifice, I’d definitely know where it was.  But I PROMISE I have not said that. Still, I’m worried. Auto-pilot mouth is sneaky and untrustworthy.

I’m pretty sure auto-pilot mouth is contagious as well. So I’m wondering, how do I find the emergency switch to turn the damn thing off before it’s too late?


6 Responses to “What’s that smell?”

  1. And here I thought this was a males-only problem!

  2. dhaughton Says:

    That made me laugh out loud! I also flashed back to riding the hot, smelly bus in middle school and hearing that phrase and “PSYCH” all.the.time.

  3. dhaughton Says:

    I USED to use some phrases that my dad said all of the time that are fairly tame, but occasionally I forget, then realize that it might require TOO much explanation (i.e “You can BS the baker, and you get buns, you BS me and you get none.” “Mom, what’s BS?” Or “Mom, I want _______!” Mumbled under my breath “Yeah, well, people in hell want ice water.” )

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