Real reality

GRIN # 236

My mom thinks TV folks make up a lot of their programming. For example, with the hoarding shows I shamefully watch, she says, “That’s not real! People don’t live like that.”

And she may be right. I mean, look at Jerry Springer and the WWF. Compelling evidence.

But I have to tell you, I am not making up my cooking deficiencies.

People will say to me, “Oh, you can’t be that bad! You’re making that up.”

I wish. Jerry wishes.

Last night, sneezing uncontrollably (which really scares Sister) and feeling like a rib was at any moment going to exit my body, I turned to my old friend who I honestly haven’t seen in a while.

No, not beer. Beer is my sidekick, and we see each other all the time. Don’t be ridiculous.

I’m talking about Hamburger Helper. Yes, people still cook that. Well. Maybe not a lot of people. But I, personally, keep three boxes on hand at all times.

And since I haven’t cooked it in so long, it was actually a hit. The irony. And I didn’t cook it shirtless in a push-up bra like Snookie might on Jersey Shore. I was really cooking it, cooking and sneezing and blowing my nose. It was very realistic. And probably not all that hygienic.

“I really like this beefy flavor,” said Jerry, as he doused it with hot sauce.

A minute later he announced he was out of hot sauce. I’m still pondering that.

Bonus tip: I added extra noodles to make even more Hamburger Helper.

I’m nothing if not thrifty.

And that’s the truth.


2 Responses to “Real reality”

  1. Chrissy tell your mom that I used to work with a Realtor who was a hoarder. She literally had what we called goat paths through her home. She lived in a nice home, in a very nice neighborhood. You would never guess it from the outside. But, from the time you walked in the door the paths began. She shopped like crazy. Couldn’t leave a clearance item behind. I don’t know how her husband could stand it. By the time I knew her the kids had left the nest. This was about 10 years ago, so it happens, even in the nicest places.

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