Justin Beaver

GRIN # 262

Since I’m trying to quit the regular news–what I call the “rape, maim, murder, kill” report–I thought I’d try my hand at so-called strange news.

So far, it’s pretty good. Here’s a sampling.

Nice going, Mom! In Alliance, OH Katurah Petty shoplifted $271 worth of computer software from a WalMart…wait for it…while she was in labor. After her arrest, the police took her to the hospital. Now that’s dedication.

Bieber Fever: The swirly-haired teen heart-throb has all kinds of irons in the fire. First, there’s his new OPI nail polish line that he’s been sampling himself (a little risky, frankly) with colors like “One Less Lonely Girl” and “OMB!” (I’m assuming that’s Oh My Bieber!). Bieber also has a book out…Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story. When in doubt, use another colon. A 3-D movie about his life will be released next year. I just hope two hours is enough.

Speaking of Bieber …The Bronx River used to be too polluted to sustain the beaver–New York’s state mammal–until recently. The second beaver to be discovered in the Bronx River was recently named “Justin Beaver” in a contest sponsored by the Wildlife Conservation Society’s Bronx Zoo. “Justin Beaver” won in a landslide of internet voters, beating out “Wally” from “Leave it to Beaver.” Apparently, a lot of Internet users don’t even remember “Leave it to Beaver.”

And now I feel old. So.

Maybe I should go back to the regular news.


2 Responses to “Justin Beaver”

  1. I just saw on Oprah where Serena Williams is also launching her own OPI nail polish line too! Wonder who will come out on top?! LOL!

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