Creative criticisms

GRIN # 287

What a morning! Tyler had a basketball game at eight, and we had to be there 10 minutes early. When I woke up and rolled over to look at the clock, it was 7:26.

God Bless America!!

Jerry, who I swear wakes up at 2:30 every morning anyway, was supposed to get us up.

“Why didn’t you wake us up?” I yelled.

“Well, I was busy turning off all the lights.”

That is Jerry’s way of telling me I didn’t turn off all the lights before we went to bed.

I have to hand it to him. He’s pretty crafty at disguising his criticisms–often in the form of a tip.

As in, “If you shut the windows before you turn the air on, it will get cooler faster.”

Then I usually make a face and say, “Really?! Good to know.”

I should probably be grateful he’s somewhat diplomatic.

The last time he openly criticized me was before we got married. We were washing the cars, and I didn’t wipe down the door jams (how do you even spell that??). Frankly, I didn’t even know what a door jam (jamb) was.

He came to my side of the car to get something and saw my neglect.

“You didn’t even wipe down the door jambs,” he yelled. “The foam that seals the door will rot.”

Yeah, well. When I was growing up, “car wash” was a place, not an activity.

“If you’re so perfect, do it yourself!” I yelled back, hurling my sponge at him.

Come to think of it, I haven’t washed a car since.

I keep waiting for him to criticize dinner. But he’s too smart for that.


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