Men at the mall

GRIN #296

You’ve seen them right? At the mall. They sit on benches and overstuffed chairs; their expressions vary. Some look exhausted. Others angry, forlorn or determined.

Often they clutch bags and boxes. The unluckier ones are stuck with purses.

I imagine some have volunteered for mall duty, though I can’t fathom it. Jerry would rather be shot in the head than go to a mall. He hasn’t been to a mall in about ten years. If I demanded he go with me, I’m pretty certain he’d offer me a cash payment not to go.

Still, I can see where maybe a guy has to pick something up so he goes with his wife and does his thing and waits on a bench while she finishes up. They’re just waiting; they usually look pretty content. Then there are the older gentleman who perhaps come to the mall to walk and partake in a change of scenery.

I get that.

But I want to know about the other guys. The ones who trail their wives into stores. I’ve bumped into them loitering outside of changing rooms, even in the bra department. It pisses me off.

“Why are you not home watching a football game?” I want to shout. “Why don’t you grow a pair? You’re spending your Saturday next to a rack of Maidenform bras. What is wrong with you?”

If I sound passionate about it, I am. I voiced my opinion at the mall yesterday to my sister.

But she had a few theories.

“It’s probably the wife’s birthday and that’s the ONE thing she wants is for him to go shopping with her.”

“Ugh! Why?” I asked.

“Or,” she continued. “Maybe he’s in the dog house for something and coming to the mall is his penance.”

“He could just buy her flowers.”

“I’m just saying. There has to be a reason,” she says.

MEN: Do you recognize yourself? Why are you dragged along to the mall? Why do you stand for it? Maybe you enjoy it. If you do, that’s okay, just tell me.

And then I will mercilessly make fun of you.

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6 Responses to “Men at the mall”

  1. My grandfather would come to the mall with us when I was a kid. He sat outside every store we went into and carried all our packages. I remember seeing a cartoon of a man sitting outside a store covered in packages…that is what he always looked like. When I was older he would wait in the car & take a nap & I would have to out to get him when we would stop to eat. Then finally he gave up going all together at some point. I think the main reason he went was because we would be gone all day, so if he wanted to eat he needed to be with grandma? Someone needed to carry the packages & he needed to wait until I was big enough? Or maybe in the old days ladies didn’t go out by themselves? Who knows?!

  2. Now, you know Mark goes w/ me all the time! BUT, we split up!! He goes to the book store, sports shop or Bass Pro. I know lots of guys who do this. I do agree though… If Mark went w/ me to try on bras, I would say he has serious control issues or sexually confused! Lucky for me, it’s neither!!:>)

  3. I can think of two reasons, but the second one might make you feel bad:

    1. They only have one car or both had errands at the mall.

    2. Only the man can drive, either because the woman has lost some of her faculties or she never learned. Yes, there are still women in the elder mall sitter category who have been driven places all their lives.

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