A self-sabotage kind of day
GRIN # 327
Happy Snow Day!
If you’re reading this and you live in the north, you would be laughing hysterically at our snow day. It’s basically a freezing rain and a little bit of snow, but that is the joy or the frustration of living in the South (depending upon if you’re a kid or an adult).
And I will confess to you that in the next few weeks I am trying to get out a….sigh….book proposal based on my blog. SHUDDER. My writer’s group is encouraging me to get something out by January to be considered for next Christmas.
BUT. I don’t know how to do it. I’ve never done it. It’s scary. Overwhelming. What if it sucks? What if it sucks worse than I imagine? What if I fail and on and on and on. Welcome to my head.
So I’m doing what most normal people do when they’re overwhelmed by something. I‘m procrastinating and self-sabotaging. It would be so much easier not to do it. Yet, isn’t this why I started blogging in the first place? I have to try.
So I woke up thinking I would start gathering some of my favorite entries. That I can do. I think.
And then I invited four 7-year-olds over to play. Yeah. That ought to throw a wrench in what I’m imagining will be an ill-fated journey anyway.
The big fear? That I do a proposal and it’s rejected, rejected and rejected again. Then I’ve put my basket of eggs out there and received it back crushed and rotten. What next? It’s almost easier on my ego to think, “Yeah, I could have done that, but I just didn’t have time.”
Run, children, run. This is what it’s like to be a writer. It’s a compulsion, an obsession, a neuroses.
But what can I say? I love it.
Anything worth doing is hard; that’s what I always tell Tyler anyway.
If you’re browsing the Internet today and have a little time to kill, I’d love to know which entries you like best:))