The land of the missing

GRIN # 333

I just got a very perturbed call from the library. At least the digitized voice sounded perturbed.

“You have three VERY overdue items. Please return them as soon as possible.”

Usually the voice tells you the titles and lets  you renew them by phone. Clearly, I’ve outworn my welcome at the library.

Of course I can’t find the books. I spent the better part of the morning looking for them.

I remember the books, but I SWEAR I turned them in.

But then I think, “Why would the librarians lie?”

My next thought is: “Someone stole them.”

Seriously. Who would steal library books from my house?

Of course I’ve lost them,  along with about one hundred other really important things in my life.

I’m only 39, but I’m just wondering: Is there going to come a day when I actually find everything I’ve lost? I’m not talking big-picture either–like my youth or life’s true meaning. I’m talking about library books, field trip request forms, prescriptions, tape, scissors, lone socks, pens, pot holders and pizza cutters.

Are they all hiding out together in some inconspicuous place I haven’t thought to look?

Why can’t I lose the crap I don’t need?

But oh no, I can always find a phone book, twisty ties, errant cotton balls, Legos, paper clips and the little baby hairbrush I never used on Tyler that, impossibly, turns up in every drawer! Damn that hairbrush.

I transcribed an interview a few weeks ago. I was going to write it up and now I can’t find the word document. I’ve looked everywhere. The only solution is to transcribe it again.

Right after I pay the library for Chimps Don’t Wear Glasses by Laura Numeroff.

Christmas, please come take me away.


4 Responses to “The land of the missing”

  1. This is why I love your blog! I’m not the only one who does this stuff. You know what I bet? Most people lose forms that are supposed to be signed and returned to school and have at least one drawer filled with stuff they should have thrown away. They just don’t tell anyone and make people like me feel inadequate. When I read your blog, I feel completely adequate! 🙂

    • YAY!! I’m glad I could help. And I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’m with you–I think there are a lot of people in the closet about what they lose. I hope.

  2. Linda Albert Says:

    Crisssie I guess the “borrowers” have been at your house! I thought they lived with me but it looks like they are pretty busy guys! The good thing about them is that all of a sudden your missing items reappear!

    Good luck hope you find all your “things”

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