“Men at the Mall” talk back

GRIN #369

Confession: Occasionally, GRIN entries make it into news, as did my column on men loitering in the bra department at the mall.

I asked, “MEN: Why do you do this?”

And they responded….

  • Andy Ferguson of Cary says he hovers for two reasons: to make sure his wife doesn’t spend too much and to be a nuisance so she will shoo him away to the nearest sports zone.

That’s very passive-aggressive, Andy. I admire it for two reasons: you get points for going to the mall and, ultimately, you get to do what you want. That’s strategy.

  • Chris Ormatar of Worcester Massachusetts said this: “I work long hours and during this season there is much shopping to be done, so it is the mall or hours spent without her and the kids she takes with her.” I guess. I’m so used to guys wanting to get away from the wife and kids. It’s nice you like  them.

Incidentally, Chris said he found it odd that my hubby would refuse to participate in something I obviously enjoy and vice versa. He asked: “Do you never watch football with your husband?”

Actually, Chris, I don’t. Frankly, I tried too hard and I was fired. I asked too many questions, such as “What is a first down?” and “Why is that yellow line on the screen” and “Who are we rootin’ for?” Not surprisingly, we never have Super Bowl plans.

But, sir, point taken. I do categorically make supportive comments when passing through such as, “Hon, they’re playing so well! Awesome.” And he does the same for me. When I get home with a new outfit and try it on he’ll say, “That’s very slenderizing.” (I taught him that, by the way).

  • Richard Talach of Cary admits going to the mall is not his favorite activity, but he makes the best of his time there. He helps with decision-making on what to buy for whom and enjoys stopping by the cigar store to pick up his favorite stogie. He also notices what his wife admires and comes back later to purchase it as a gift.

“It has worked for me over the past 36 years and there’s no going back to the returns counter,” he says. Smart and romantic; I like it. At the end of the day, says Richard, he and his wife share dinner and drinks while he catches the score of the game he missed.

“But who cares? It’s only a game,” he says. “And isn’t your relationship more important? Sometimes the sacrifice is rewarded tenfold. When dealing with Venus, Mars is just being shrewd.”

Ah, Richard. It was perfect until you tacked on that last sentence about being shrewd. Know when to quit, man.

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