More lessons on men

GRIN # 371

Surprisingly, I’m learning a lot about men this week. I have two lessons to share.

The first is that men are much smarter than we give them credit for.

Women are always saying men don’t listen, that they don’t get it.

Actually, I think they do.

I was at the dentist last  week, who just happens to be my brother. After copious warnings to Tyler about how Uncle Dave would find a cavity if he didn’t brush well, Uncle Dave found a cavity in my mouth. Which Tyler thought was hilarious. Frick frackin’ kharma.

Anyway, Uncle Dave was filling it and while we were waiting for me to numb up we were talking about the Christmas presents we’d had to return.

“I had to return the sweatshirt Jerry got me again this year; it was a medium,” I said. I went on to explain that while the thought of a medium was nice, I’m not really a medium.

I mean I can stuff into a medium. But I feel like I have alligator arms, pinned to my sides because the sleeves are too tight. Life is just too damn short for that nonsense.

My brother just nodded. “I never buy anything larger than a medium in clothes or an 8 in shoes for my wife.”

“What?” I asked, only it was really more like “Whuf?” because half my mouth was numb by this time. “Eben if you know it bon’t vit?”

“Of course! It doesn’t matter if it won’t fit. That’s the rule.” Apparently, he understands paralytic mouth.

So every year I and countless other women must head to the mall and exchange stuff our hubbies knew wouldn’t fit. That seems stupid.

Or does it? I tried to imagine my reaction if Jerry gave me a sweatshirt in an extra large.

“So. You think I’m an extra large? Do I look extra large? Last year you gave me a medium. Thanks a lot!” I’d say, muttering “Ass!” under my breath as I walked away.

I’d like to think I wouldn’t react like that but I’m getting old enough to be partially honest with myself.

And he’s gotten smart enough to know that size matters and it’s the thought that counts.


Stay tuned for lesson two. It’s a doozy.


2 Responses to “More lessons on men”

  1. LOL just thinking about you talking with a numb mouth-HAHA

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