Fifty Ways to Irritate your Mother

GRIN # 388

So we’re at the end of the second week of track-out and things are going okay, other than Tyler practically impaling himself on a palm frond yesterday while playing putt-putt golf and me taking out my chronic irritation on the Jehovah Witnesses whom, frankly, I think are camping nearby. BTW, don’t ever tell them they can stop back by. They will.

Anyhoo, yesterday we were having some work done at the house so I set off with T to be gone for a few hours. In the car, Tyler wanted to listen to “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train, which I like too, but I didn’t have the thingy that attaches the iPod to the car so we listened to a CD mix I had instead. Tyler got a kick out of Paul Simon’s song “Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover.” 

He kept asking me to replay it and after a while I thought we might rename it to: Fifty Ways to Irritate your Mother.

I made up a refrain, or maybe it’s a chorus?, that I think most moms can relate to:

Dontcha dare talk smack, Jack

Get off the can, man

Pick up your toy, boy

Just listen to me!

Don’t miss the bus, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much….

Just lift up the seat, T

Or wipe off the pee…

Second verse:

Eat all your food, dude

Don’t tell me no lie, guy

You’re gettin’ on my nerves, boy

Just listen to me!

Cut out the fuss, Gus

You don’t need to discuss much

It’s time for the bed now,

…but first you go pee.


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