Not on his watch

GRIN # 395

A while back I had a bathroom vanity refinished by someone who came highly recommended.

Luis was great; he showed up when he said he would, cleaned up after himself and, most importantly, he made the mid-90s vanity in my downstairs bath look brand-new. He even installed a new faucet and light fixture. For a great price.

So I didn’t give it a second thought when I decided to catch a late afternoon movie with Tyler.

Luis told me he’d lock up when he left, and I went ahead and gave him a check for his good work.

When we got home a few hours later, I admired the vanity. He’d put the doors back on; the house looked like he’d never been there.

Except for one thing.

I couldn’t find Sister, my 17-year-old golden mix with Alzheimer’s and a really bad comb-over. She’s got a thyroid problem and a few years ago her hair never grew back after we shaved her. As a result, she usually wears a dog coat or sweater.

I couldn’t find Sister but I did find her sweater, underneath my desk where she usually naps.

Luis had stolen Sister!

“Sister! Sister!!” I called.


Wait. Why would Luis want Sister? It didn’t make sense. People stole puppies. Dogs worth money. Sister cost us upward of $200 a month for her special food and medicines. Not that she wasn’t worth it, but still.

If Luis did take her, he’d be bringing her back.

I ran through the house like an idiot, looking for Sister.

And found her in the bonus room sleeping. Naked.

I still don’t know why Luis undressed my dog, but the best I can figure is this: Occasionally Sister will start panting really loudly. Imagine whispering “Ha, Ha, Ha” as loud as you can. It’s a little alarming but its part of the thyroid issue, according to the vet.

I’m thinking Luis was probably getting ready to leave and he heard Sister panting underneath my desk and thought, “Hell, this lady just paid me and her dog is overheating. What to do?”

Then he made the decision to take off the sweater in an effort to help the situation. In his mind, a dead dog would not help his referral pool.

And, Sister, being embarrassed by her nakedness in front of a stranger, went upstairs.

And Luis went home.

Sounds about right.

Side note: This picture is making me chuckle. With it, we could play my fun people-watching game, “Is-it-a-man-or-is-it-a-woman?” Because I really can’t tell.


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