Dontcha come back no more

GRIN # 396

Yeah, so, I’m having a little trouble with door-to-door solicitors.

First, it was the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I like to be open-minded so I took the literature and thumbed through it, nodding politely. I was working on a particularly mind-numbing story at the time.

I was contemplating either A. Writing or B. Mopping the floor, if that tells you anything. And, C, which is usually the most popular option: staring into an open fridge.

Then the doorbell rang, which bought me a few minutes before making a decision. When the lady asked if she could stop back by, I smiled. “Sure.”

And damn if she didn’t.


Another day, I was getting ready to pull in the driveway when I saw two people with clipboards walking up the driveway. Egads!

“Mom, where are we going?” Tyler asked as I drove past our house.

“Around the block; we gotta miss these people.”

The day I woke up so sick I was sure my head would burst, the doorbell rang  as I was heading upstairs. I stood motionless, right behind the door, hoping the man wouldn’t see me through the side transom windows.

Turns out he was an inspector who actually NEEDED to sign off on some work we’d had to have done. So I had to make an appointment for him to come back!

Double damn!! I had a really hard time explaining that one to Jerry.

“You were here, right?”

“Yes, but I hid.”

So I’m just wondering: WHY do people still sell crap and proselytize door-to-door? Aren’t they worried about who’s on the other side of the door? Because I feel a little crazy coming on. 

Set up a Facebook page; tweet; blog. Anything! But don’t come to my door. I don’t want your crap. Unless you’re a Girl Scout selling Thin Mints or someone I specifically called to fix something, I gotta tell you: I’m not buying it–whether it’s a lawn service, an oil change, a vacuum cleaner or a religion.

6 Responses to “Dontcha come back no more”

  1. This is the EXACT reason I have a solid door w/NO transoms on the side. I put the stained glass above the door, so it would let light in the foyer & allow me to keep my privacy. Children selling things is my ONLY exception to the rule.

  2. Hmmm…….this is one of the times when I’m thankful that I have 3 large, very loud dogs. That doorbell rings and “pack-o-dogs” is on it! I usually walk to the transom window (dogs abound and barking fiercely) and wave. I imagine there’s a bit of a smirk on my face as I watch the person flee down my front porch steps! No sign needed!

    • Yeah, I bet that works!! The downside is you have to live with them ol’ dogs–the thief, the jumper and the barker!!!

      • So true, but you have to admit they are funny — the thief has also been aptly called Edward Scissorhands if I’m not mistaken! She got me on the leg and the hand on Sun. night during the thunderstorm……ouch!

      • You call her Edward Scissorhands. I call her Freddy Kreuger. You should buy stock in Neosporin.

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