A diamond is forever
My recent “what-kind-of-car-is-your-wife” post got me thinking about Jerry and compliments. I don’t know how it is for everybody else out there but my hub just doesn’t really give compliments.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to dog him (although I’m going to end up doing it anyway). He’s very affectionate and demonstrative and, in his defense, I also have to say that he NEVER EVER criticizes. I’m serious.
And he will say, “Good for you!” or “Good job” regarding my work. He’s also really supportive with all the technical stuff and is basically my slave when I have problems and puts up with my crappy impatient attitude that the computer has to be fixed RIGHT NOW.
But as far as “You look nice,” “You have pretty eyes,” “Your hair smells good” …whatever…he just doesn’t say it. Ever. I could come down the stairs in a garbage bag and he’d say, “You ready?”
Evening gown or trash bag, same answer.
It’s not that he’s never tried. One time he told me something I was wearing looked “slenderizing,” and I could tell he’d been listening to me and my sister for too long.
My mom and sister and I are probably over-complimentary. Before any excursion can take place, we must assess and then douse one another in compliments. It’s required. In fact, it’s just plain rude if you don’t.
“God, I love those shoes!” “Your hair looks so good.” I’ll admit the oohing and ahhing is time consuming, but it does make you feel good and gets everything off to a great start.
I don’t know if it’s a woman thing or a how-you-were-raised thing or just a personality thing.
Of course I’ve asked Jerry about it–a long time ago when I was naive enough to think I could fix it.
He sighed. “It’s all been said.”
“What are you talking about? When?”
“When I married you, THAT meant not only that I love you but that you’re pretty, skinny, wonderful, everything looks good on you, blah, blah, blah. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t feel that way.”
“Of course it counts forever! That’s what the ring is for.”
Well. A diamond is forever.