I’m washing my hands of…

GRIN # 419

I’m turning 40 next month. I’m actually really excited about it except for the fact that I look so damn old.

But forty is going to be cool. I’m thinking I have enough experience to be able to accurately predict how some things are gonna turn out.

In my twenties and thirties, I’d say “Fishing? Yeah, let’s do it!”

“Golf? Sounds like fun.”

But I’ve learned. No more. Because I know how these things are going to turn out.

The last time I played golf, I cried. First because it was taking me so many shots for movement of any kind and next because the manager ordered my sister and me off the course because we were taking too long. But before I cried at him, I yelled at him because I was embarrassed. Then I cried. Again.  Just to clarify.

But fishing is worse. I really gave fishing a good try because there are a lot of fishermen in my family.

This is how THAT goes:

Bait your hook and wait.

Wait some more.

Reel in line. Replace missing bait.

Eat some snacks.

Wait.

Put on sunscreen.

Try a new location.

Bait hook.

Wait.

Eat more snacks.

Drink. Alcohol, if its handy.

Scratch mosquito bites.

Ponder if it’s possible to die of boredom.

Beg to go home.

Beg again.

Cry as the sun starts to set.

Offer to go BUY fish.

Make mental note to bag both golf and fishing–FOREVER.

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4 Responses to “I’m washing my hands of…”

  1. I agree, and I would like to add camping to that list. Ugh! Roughing it? I think not.

  2. lesson learned offer to buy fish before getting in the boat. No does not work.

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