Sigh. Today I have the wants.
Does that ever happen to you? Wanting stuff that’s too expensive, not feasible or practical? It’s days like these that I have to remind myself why I work for myself. I could make more money working in corporate communications or public relations.
But the job I have allows me to work at midnight so that at noon the next day I can go roller-skating with Tyler. He’s finally learning to keep his knees together. Afterward, we pay a buck-fifty for air hockey that lasts all of ninety seconds.
While Tyler takes a shower at night, I transcribe tape so that the next day we can ride our bikes early—stopping along the way to examine the beetles, slugs, tree frogs and caterpillars we find on the trail. I taught him how to suck the honey out of a honeysuckle instead of writing press releases.
Because of the job I’ve chosen—and its less than stellar salary—I can be at the bus stop every day at 3:45 to witness what accompanies him home from school: the Abe Lincoln stovepipe hat, a homemade papoose with a paper baby inside, or the cup of slime from science that demonstrated something I can’t remember.
I’m grateful for my job’s flexibility because I know there are many women who would love to be able to both work and stay at home. Working is too often an all-or-nothing proposition for mothers. There are not enough jobs like mine, and I am grateful that I have it and that it sustains me, both financially and emotionally.
So when I get the wants, I remind myself that no matter what it is I want, the cost is too high. I think of T, his cargo shorts loaded with rocks and cricket’s legs, the two of us coasting downhill on our bikes, and I think he is like me: free.